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i taught myself garageband this summer

by Pearjuice

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1.
Not Me 02:49
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i don't know why i spend time there i like to think that i can care i bit my lip & i think it's fair i'm trying to grow out my hair last night i gave my roots a tear my fingers suffer now (x3) because i do not paint perhaps i like to freeze perhaps i'll collapse in my knees! perhaps tonight i'll wheeze because i am not me i don't know why i think i care i wish i could but i do not share i do not wish i could breathe more air i think my friend the Cold lives there perhaps that's why i spend time there my fingers scream at me my heart thinks it cannot see my eyelids hardly close because i am not me i am not me
2.
Cold Basements 00:42
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3.
Aren't Warm 02:44
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i can't decide if today i'll stay inside my knees aren't straight and so i see those walls i'm far too young, they made me crawl cried in the rugs was told my heart was cold but behold i hardly fold i nod instead believed what they said cannot leave my bed i don't know why i'm young! i hardly care i crouched beneath the bus thought i could breathe computer dust knew i could learn can't believe i tore my skin i can't believe my world within i only stare i don't know why i'm young !!!!! u shouldn't care last week i wrote a song i think i wrote it on my arm i still forgot i wish i fought was never taught
4.
Dusk is Bright 01:58
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i don't know what i want but i know what i need is for you to be in my thoughts i'll have you stay up there my mind's attic we'll share i think the dust is warm i'm glad you stare at the sky then on my bedroom floor u know, we never shut the door and we sit in the dusk you tell me i'm a light the point is i feel u and u feel me that's all that matters i don't need to know your favorite shirt sometimes i'd look down on my walk i'd mostly close my hands, not talk bits of your words in my head i wish you lived closer by one time i was on the train was writing ink from pain i drew your hands clasped with mine and soon found i was in a dream sometimes i hear your warmth and wish that we were boys inside some cabin in a forest that's too far away the point is i feel you and you feel me we don't make much sense but we can hear one another the point is i care for you and you care for me i miss what we never were but am glad for the warmth we've shared
5.
Not You 02:28
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i don't know if i miss you not sure if i could i don't know if you ever saw me sometimes i still see your window and feel you breathing i thought about you but never for you i wish i could know if you knew me if your arms around me were always for me there's not much you say i hear but i know that every time we talk i feel more i feel more my feet can tingle you make me giddy i'm not sure if i miss you i wish i knew if i shared warmth with you we don't know how to listen but f*ck did we feel right!!!
6.
Blue Painting 02:38
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your window was always open in my memory there's always rain i turned cold when you didn't listen had to stare in the window pane you're shaking from hearing my voice you're overwhelmed because you're seen our arms touched while in your bed which i could feel inside my knees you saw my thoughts held in this book i thought that you could smile at me but you could talk my ears cold never saw beneath my sea you showed me the box in your world i got lost in your fingertips was dark &stuck inside your basement was never your light to hold i listen to strawberry and i can hear our flutes now i can't help but throw out my paint like u in the deschutes i saw in your book u drew me the time you showed your love at tea i said i couldn't see you you said it'd forever be me sometimes i wish you heard me think we'd be at the beach our silence was never quiet but alas there's no iceland green and so you sent me letters for months, i read them still thought i was mean (you were just clever) you didn't stop, which is not okay you shared you shared your voice and i could hear i held your hand when u were near you made the blue about your Cold still maybe, someday, i'll be yours when we're old

about

i want this to feel like writing in my journal in a dimlit and hot room on a wooden floor in the summer with the window open and my back crouched over my kneecaps! journal music!

credits

released August 17, 2018

Love is All is a song by Tallest Man on Earth
The Keaton Henson song I was playing when "Margeaux walked in" is called Charon

thnk u to 22 Univ– Marg &Laney ,,and the fruitflies!
thank u Red Line
thank u peter and iwasaki and claire and scott and elise for the guitar, & every1 in my chosen family, also thnk u Family!!
thank u flowers

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Pearjuice Brooklyn, New York

yuck i'm a poser :(

trans lo-fi music by enne

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